I've been reading a lot about couples waiting for years to have a baby and struggling with fertility. As more of our friends become pregnant, I wonder about parents that already have one child but have been struggling to have another for many years. I had Ryan at a very young age and I am thankful everyday for him. But since I married my husband, I have longed to be able to give my husband a child of his own. He already thinks of Ryan as his own, but I mean a child of his own flesh and blood that he doesn't have to share. I know that sounds so selfish. We started trying as soon as we were married so that Ryan wouldn't have the age gap between his siblings that my sister and I have. We have been married for seven years now and nothing. I am truly happy for my friends that are pregnant and having babies, but my heart still aches for the babies I don't have. I don't know if that makes sense. I wish I knew of other people that already have a child and have struggled for a second. Ryan was a surprise. Totally not planned. Now that I want another, why can't it be as easy? I just don't understand. It's just so hard some days.
Sorry, I just had to say this. I've been hurting for a while now. Some days are harder than others. Today is one of those days.
